THE BET

[SCENE: Raf and Chris alone in a room facing the television camera]

Chris: Hi, I'm Chris.

Raf: And I'm Raf.

chris: And we've always wondered, which one of us would girls most like to go out with?

Raf: That's why we've decided to put the question to the test. We hired a professional mugger to pose this question upon unsuspecting woman and see who wins.

Chris: Let's take a look at the results...


[CUT SCENE: move to outdoor scene with Raf, Chris, and the mugger (wearing a hood over his face) talking near a busy street]

Chris: [to the mugger] So, how you feeling today?

Mugger: Pretty good, now I get to ask the question then rob them, right?

Chris: No, no, no. We talked about this, just be happy with the money we gave you and we'll finish negotions later.

Mugger: It's just that, normally, I get to keep the money and I feel like the amount that you guys are paying me just isn't enough for me to actually go through with th--

Raf: [cutting him off] We'll, what are we waiting for? Let's go out there and find out who's more attractive, myself or Chris.

[mugger walks out of screen]

Chris: [mumbling under his breath] It's gonna be me. Raf: [hearing what Chris said and also mumbling] No your not, shut up!

[CUT SCENE: robber sneaks up upon two unsuspecting women walking down the street]

Mugger: [pulls out gun] Freeze! This is a stick-up!

Girl 1: [terrified] Please, please! Take whatever you want and get out of here!

Girl 2: [also terrified] We're not going to fight over it.

Mugger: It's not your money I want, it is for you to answer a question, which one of these two would you most want to go out with?

[mugger points to Raf and Chris, who reveal themselves from a nearby car that they were hiding behind. Raf and Chris then begin to wave]

Girl 1: [startled] W-w-what?, what do you mean? Girl 2: [confused] Is this some sort of joke?

Mugger: [points gun back into the girls faces and screams] DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING?!?

[girls begin screaming, mugger points to Girl 1]

Mugger: You gotta pick right now. You have ten seconds.

[mugger then begins a ten-second countdown]

Girl 1: I don't know... [begins sobbing] they both look the same... um.. uh...

Mugger: [still doing countdown] 3... 2... 1... Girl 1: [panicked] I can't decide!

Mugger: Time's up.

[mugger shoots Girl 1 dead, then turns to Girl 2]

Mugger: Now you.

Girl 2: [startled] Oh, um... now, would this be a long-term thing or just a fling?

Mugger: [suprised by the question] Oh, um... I'm not really sure.


[mugger turns to Raf and Chris for confirmation]

Chris: Um, I guess it would be more casual, but still serious enough to turn into something more if there's something there.

Raf: Yeah, enough to the point where we can see each other often but not enough to the point where you have to know where I am every second of the day.

Girl 2: That sounds reasonable.

[mugger nods head in agreement, Raf and Chris high-five]

Girl 2: But I don't know anything about you.

[mugger looks back again for an answer]


Chris: Well, I'm into a lot of different things: Sports, politics, tv, movies. I'd like to be a better listener, but sometimes I just can't but think of all the world's problems and about how if we could just work together instead of constantly working against each other, then maybe -- just maybe -- the world would be a better and more peaceful place.

Girl 2: But you just had my friend killed.

Chris: [defensive] Hey, I'm not the one who abstained from voting, now did I?

Girl 2: [to Raf] And you?

Raf: Hi, I'm Raf. I guess I am similiar to Chris, but I'm generally considered the more caring and compassionate of the two.

Girl 2: But you also just had my friend killed.

Raf: [confident] But I felt bad about it.

Mugger: [getting bored] Alright, you've had a chance to hear from them all, now pick one.

Girl 2: [getting a little nervous] Oh, um....

Mugger: [beginning countdown] 10... 9... 8...

Girl 2: Uh.... Mugger: 4... 3... 2... 1...

Girl 2: [terrified and sreaming] Raf!

Raf! I choose Raf! Oh, please God don't kill me!

Raf: [arms raised, shouts] YES!!!

Chris: [dissapointed] Oh, fuck me. Raf: In your face mother-fucker, in your face!

Mugger: [to Girl 2] You can go now.... Boo!

[Girl 2 screams and runs away, meanwhile, Raf is busy doing a little song and dance]

Raf: [singing] Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh. Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh.

Chris: [disgusted] Oh go fuck yourself.

[CUT SCENE: back to the beginning stage, with just Raf and Chris in the studio]

Chris: After doing this experiment all week long, here are the results...

Raf: [opening the envelope] and the results are myself beating Chris with 32 girls saying they'd rather go out with me than the 22 girls who voted for Chris.

Chris: We also had 47 women abstain from voting as they were killed before answering our question.

Raf: Well Chris, I guess that makes me the winner.

Chris: [saying this matter-of-factly] In my defense, the girls who said yes to me were much hotter and this I feel more than makes up for the number of girls who said yes to you. It's quality, not quantity.

Raf: Yes, but you're also forgetting the fact that I secured the gay vote by a wide margin.

Chris: That's true, a LOT of guys did hit on you while filming... which was weird, because I don't recall asking any in the first place.

Raf: So I guess that makes me the winner. Chris: Indeed it does Raf, you are the winner of which one of us is most-likely to be a homosexual. Raf: [defensive] That's not true!!! Chris: Then how come 60 guys gave you their phone number? That many people can't be wrong. Raf: [shrugging it off] Whatever dude, I won the bet.

[Raf proceeds to place a crown upon his head reading 'MORE BONEABLE' on it]

Raf: YOU WILL BOW TO ME!!! [Raf then breaks into a song and dance]

Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh. Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh.

Chris: And you wonder why you secured the gay vote.

[END]