Wednesday, February 25, 2009
You have to admit, Gov. Jindal really does a good impersonation. Now do Columbo!!!
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"Mr. Jindal, after this horrible speech, what are you going to do next?"
"I'm going to Disney World!!!"
Seriously, after last night's debacle, I'd probably shy away from the limelight too. Not only was Gov. Jindal outmatched in terms of oratory skill, he was clearly unprepared for the national spotlight. His message was both outdated and spoken as if America was a nation of five-year-olds. To which I can only make the point, REALLY REPUBLICANS?
I cannot help but wonder what the fate of the Republican Party is after this response. After the 2008 election, it is obvious that Americans are looking for a change in politics -- tax cuts and deregulation are not the answer, it is what got us into the mess. This is a time for action; if you are not going to help, than at least come up with an idea to get us out of this mess.
The longer the party continues to fight a civil war, the longer the party fights to do nothing, the longer the party continues to promote clearly unqualified politicians merely because of their race or gender, the longer the party listens to racists idiots like Rush Limbaugh, the longer the party spouts exclusive politics instead of inclusive politics -- the less relevant they become.
In times of great crisis, Americans turn to a party of ideas, a party of "I dream of things as they never were and ask, 'Why not?'" as opposed to a party of "I hope he fails!" This is one of those times.
Also, to be noted, crises are times for great social progress. Despite fighting a civil war, Lincoln developed a transcontinental railroad system, gave a couple of good speeches, implemented the Legal Tender Act of 1862 -- issuing the nation's first paper currency (prior to this, local banks developed their own tender. That's right, there used to be a Union Street National Bank $8 bill, a Wall Street Banking Co. $13 bill, etc.), oh -- and did something about uh... um... Oh yeah, he instituted Thanksgiving as a national holiday.
Despite facing an economic depression and later fighting World War II, President Roosevelt instituted The New Deal, a system that implemented mass production of roads, parks, construction projects, the HFA -- housing projects, social programs, the creation of the atomic bomb, and pushed us out of economic hardship.
Let this serve as a lesson to the Democratic Party now; that it is when times our tough that Americans need a person to say, "Yes," instead of "No." We need a leader to say, "Times are tough, but we shall overcome." I believe that Bush, Buchanan, and Hoover -- the ultimate "no you can't" men -- have had their chance and seen their method fail. I believe that until the Republicans can honestly formulate a plan of action other than tax cuts, tax cuts, and more tax cuts, that our country will feature only one major party -- until those two begin to fragment (which will eventually happen without a challenger to bind them together), the Democratic Party will reach great new heights.
We can only hope.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Want to Get Away?
Two Greek prisoners have escaped from prison in a helicopter -- again.
So I'm being told that his is not the first time that the two have escaped from prison in this manner, and they were successful both times? How is that even possible? Seriously?
After being recaptured (one in 2006 and the other in 1008) they were placed in solitary confinement, but were allowed to take a daily walk outside. That is when a helicopter lowered on top of the prison grounds with a ladder rope -- which the inmates climbed. Guards who attempted to stop them were suppressed by AK-47 fire stemming from the helicopter. Fortunately, no guards were injured during the escape.
According to police reports, the pilot of the helicopter was forced at gunpoint by a couple, originally posing as tourists, to fly the plane over the complex. Afterwards, he was found bound and gagged, but alive, after police found the vehicle.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Bored? Try this...
Adultfriender MYSPACE GRAPHICS
Adultfriender MYSPACE GRAPHICS
Adultfriender MYSPACE GRAPHICS
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CLICK ON THE REST OF THE LINKS TO SEE THEM IN ACTION
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Fallen
It seems as though the longer we wait, the more we see how problematic the steroid era had upon the historical impact of the game. If we keep at this pace, pretty soon I'll be recognizing Lip Pike and Count Gedney as the true home run champions. But seriously, who is the home run champion? True, it is Barry Bonds -- but who will baseball purists refer to as the supreme four bagger? The only true player that comes to mind is Aaron.
What makes his enduring legacy truly remarkable is that he achieved this record despite playing his first few years in the Negro Leagues, meaning that the scars of segregation and racism were still relevant -- as the civil rights movement occurred during the prime of his career. Every time a person looked into the record books and looked at the all-time home run champion there would be a paragraph explaining what impact Aaron had upon the game -- how he faced racial adversity and continued to push forward, never giving in to hatred. His greatest legacy is that he did it with grace, honesty and humility.
Now all he have to look forward to is a steroid-using player chasing down another steroid-using player's record. Yay! So now we have nearly every major baseball thumper of the '90s and '00s under serious review as a steroid user. Even the feel good story of the decade -- Rich Ankiel -- was caught receiving HGH.
Now baseball is in a crisis, who is next? Part of the reason that baseball fans and officials had been as accepting of Bonds breaking the home run record was because A-Rod was lurking in the background. They felt that if they could just let Bonds break the record and quietly move on then it would be okay, because A-Rod would be the new home run champ -- and he would have done it honestly. That turned out to be a mistake. Now baseball has to find a new champion, one who is honest, and someone the fans can actually look to help restore the most beloved record in sports.
What is really baffling about A-Rod's current predicament is his timeline. How is it possible for me to believe that A-Rod, one of only three players in MLB history to play shortstop at the age of 18 on a daily basis, when he says he only did it from 2001-2003? Why would I believe that he started taking steroids after he signed the biggest free-agent contract in the history of the game? On that note, why would he stop after winning his first MVP Award in 2003? During those seasons A-Rod hit more home runs during that span than any other player -- except for Barry Bonds. At this point, it would be extremely difficult to believe anything he says from this point on. How many home runs were hit on steroids? Had he been doing it his whole career?
To accurately examine the importance of the home run record, one must trace the history of the home run to the game itself. True, Babe Ruth did make the home run popular -- in fact, his home run hitting dominance saved the game itself. Following the Black Sox scandal of 1919, baseball was at an all-time low. People did not believe the games were legitimate, a problem that plagued the game for the first 40 years. This was much like the other gambling controversies, except this was the first time that a team had taken a dive during World Series play. What Ruth did was to exploit the raw power and force that a mighty swing had -- reaching beyond the great abyss and over the fence. What Ruth did was to popularize power.
But that is not what made the home run great. What truly makes the home run great is much more than that -- it traces back to the origins of organized baseball. Attendance only drew 1,000 -6,000 people until professional baseball became a featured item. When the Cincinnati nine (also known by their nickname, the Red Stockings) came into town, the crowds came in droves to watch men go up against their city's local nine. Owners and proprietors realized that by fielding better players, more people were inclined to pay to watch the game. Thus the concept was born: turn the game professional, make the game more popular.
Originally, baseball games were played on open parks and fields. Since there were no specific dimensions, the baseball could travel as far as it was physically possible. It was not until the 20th century that the way baseball was played truly changed. Prior to 20th century, baseball park fences were either extremely far away (near the 600 ft range) or absent altogether. Many baseball games occurred while cricket matches took place in the deep outfield. Fans stood around the playing field, sometimes standing on boxcars in an effort to get a better view of the action. Seeing how limiting the natural system of playing fields were -- in relation to the increased possibility of potential customers -- baseball clubs began building lots with the sole purpose of playing professional baseball.
With the addition of stadium seating, bleachers, food stands, and other features (such as rampant gambling -- which was illegal), the game rose in popularity. The daily attendance to baseball games rose from hundreds, to thousands, to tens of thousands. Baseball began shrinking the size of the outfield to allow baseball -- which had moved from local parks to city lots -- to be played in the city. Because space was limited and fans could be placed around the playing field, the fences moved to nearly modern-sized baseball parks, with the corners being about 350 feet out, and center near the 450 foot range.
This, in fact, created the baseball boom. The attendance rose rapidly, turning baseball from a niche sport into a national craze. Along with with rise came the inclusion of the souvenir, everyone wanted to have a piece of the game. At one time baseball was played with that -- a baseball. During the early 1870s many games were forced to end early as fans refused to return a ball that had been hit into the stands. Despite being a baseball club, many teams had no more than three or four baseballs to play the game. The clubs realized this and began to carry more -- even then, games had to be called. One newspaper from 1877 reported that a game was forced to end after none of the 150 baseballs hit into the stands were returned to the playing field.
And that is where the home run comes in. It is a piece of the game. It is a unique part of the game. No other sport allows people to walk away with the most important part of the game while in use. Even today, the Bonds baseball, the Bartman baseball, and the Red Sox 2004 World Series baseball have all been major fixtures in baseball's history. The baseball is the game -- many of baseball's most important moments have come from dramatic home runs. In this, baseball's legacy is dictated by the home run. And in this, the truth of baseball is revealed. To tarnish the validity of the home run is equivalent to tarnishing baseball, and for anyone to challenge the spirit of baseball, to challenge all that baseball holds dear -- its history -- is totally unforgivable. What Alex Rodriguez did is irreversible and he may be sorry, but there is no way he could ever fully apologize to the history books.
One can only hope it will not be Aaron who was the last true home run champ. Baseball's records are just too important.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Thoughts on... Farphalisious
[NOTE: this article was written back when I was an architect major -- hence the nickname AG (architecture guy), continue]
farphalisious [farr-fa-lish-us]: verb, to be beyond pathetic. Example: Jim has no social life. He is very farphalisious.
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Is this a real word? No. It is something that I came up with today in the cafateria after deciding that I needed to create a word for no particular reason. Why the definition? Simply put, pathetic does not fully describe the nature of what my life has become and I feel that there should be another word to describe it. Why farphalisious? It is a funny-sounding word (and also the word that I came up with on my very first attempt--which suprised me at how good I was at this). The main reason that I feel that I needed to create a word is so I can have the following scenario in which someone uses the term that I created in a normal everyday conversation.
Random Girl: Yeah, the cafateria here is farphalisious.[across the room]
Architecture Guy: YES!!! WHOOOOOO!!!! BOO-YA!!!
Girl: What the hell are you doing?
[Architecture Guy walks up]
AG: You just used the word farphalisious, right?
Girl: So.
AG: That's my word. You just spoke a word that I created.
Girl: Bullshit. Nobody just randomly creates words, that's stupid.
AG: [laughing] Yeah, stupid enough for you to have just used it.
Girl: What the hell is wrong with you, seriously? Were you dropped on your head as a child or did you just take one too many hits off of the bong today? You know, you're not supposed to drink the bong-water.
AG: No, I swear. I was sitting over there, eating my food, and decided that I should create my own word just to see if anybody uses it.
Girl: Why would you do that again?
AG: So that something like this conversation would happen. I even wrote a column about the conversation that would take place; it went very much like the one we are having now, except you ended up beating the shit out of me.
Girl: Wait, you wrote a column where I beat the crap out of you? Fair enough.
[kicks Architecture Guy in balls]
AG: [in obvious pain] Bring it, bitch.
[the Architecture Guy proceedes to get his ass kicked]
Girl: Are you gonna' admit that you were lying now?
AG: Hey dyke, I didn't hear no bell.
[once again the Architecture Guy has his ass handed to him]
Girl: [exausted] That's it. You've had enough......I'm done.
AG: [battered and bloody] Why, afraid you're going to break a nail?
[for the third and hopefully final time, Architecture looked like David Guest to her Liza Minelli]
Girl: You know what? Since you are so happy with that fucking word that I know you pretended to make up, here it is. You are fucking..... um.......... eh..........
AG: Farphalisious
[girl kicks Architecture Guy in stomach]
Girl: [furious] Don't ever correct me cock sucker!!! Yeah, you are fucking farphalisious.
[random girl walks away--Architecture Guy is a bloody mess]
AG: At least somebody used it.
farphalisious [farr-fa-lish-us]: verb, to be beyond pathetic. Example: Jim has no social life. He is very farphalisious.
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Is this a real word? No. It is something that I came up with today in the cafateria after deciding that I needed to create a word for no particular reason. Why the definition? Simply put, pathetic does not fully describe the nature of what my life has become and I feel that there should be another word to describe it. Why farphalisious? It is a funny-sounding word (and also the word that I came up with on my very first attempt--which suprised me at how good I was at this). The main reason that I feel that I needed to create a word is so I can have the following scenario in which someone uses the term that I created in a normal everyday conversation.
Random Girl: Yeah, the cafateria here is farphalisious.[across the room]
Architecture Guy: YES!!! WHOOOOOO!!!! BOO-YA!!!
Girl: What the hell are you doing?
[Architecture Guy walks up]
AG: You just used the word farphalisious, right?
Girl: So.
AG: That's my word. You just spoke a word that I created.
Girl: Bullshit. Nobody just randomly creates words, that's stupid.
AG: [laughing] Yeah, stupid enough for you to have just used it.
Girl: What the hell is wrong with you, seriously? Were you dropped on your head as a child or did you just take one too many hits off of the bong today? You know, you're not supposed to drink the bong-water.
AG: No, I swear. I was sitting over there, eating my food, and decided that I should create my own word just to see if anybody uses it.
Girl: Why would you do that again?
AG: So that something like this conversation would happen. I even wrote a column about the conversation that would take place; it went very much like the one we are having now, except you ended up beating the shit out of me.
Girl: Wait, you wrote a column where I beat the crap out of you? Fair enough.
[kicks Architecture Guy in balls]
AG: [in obvious pain] Bring it, bitch.
[the Architecture Guy proceedes to get his ass kicked]
Girl: Are you gonna' admit that you were lying now?
AG: Hey dyke, I didn't hear no bell.
[once again the Architecture Guy has his ass handed to him]
Girl: [exausted] That's it. You've had enough......I'm done.
AG: [battered and bloody] Why, afraid you're going to break a nail?
[for the third and hopefully final time, Architecture looked like David Guest to her Liza Minelli]
Girl: You know what? Since you are so happy with that fucking word that I know you pretended to make up, here it is. You are fucking..... um.......... eh..........
AG: Farphalisious
[girl kicks Architecture Guy in stomach]
Girl: [furious] Don't ever correct me cock sucker!!! Yeah, you are fucking farphalisious.
[random girl walks away--Architecture Guy is a bloody mess]
AG: At least somebody used it.
RUNNING DIARY -- JANUARY 12, 2006.
[NOTICE: the following is a transcript resubmitted in its original content, also, I used to be an architecture major when I wrote this. That is why I've been called AG in the posts]
RUNNING DIARY -- JANUARY 12, 2006.
What a crazy weekend, I knew I shouldn't have gotten drunk with my laser tag buddies. What the hell was I thinking? If you missed it, the following went down:
7:22 We Arrive at Raf's apartment complex.
7:24 I realize that I just went to the wrong apartment complex.
7:58 Don't worry, the Buchanan's were very nice (and also make a great appletini -- here's the recipe).
8:13 We arrive (for reals).
8:14 Raf is looking extra "spiffy" in MY SPORT COAT!!!! I concoct a plausible method of attack that will allow me to kill him, assume his identity, and reacquire what is rightfully mine.
8:15 Raf reminds me that when I want it, I can have it again. I prefer my method.
8:15 Token is busy rockin' out to Guitar Hero 2, Andre is busy rockin' out to the fact that he hasn't masturbated all day, Megan is rockin' out to the fact that Jessie has a valid reason for ignoring her (instead of his normal excuse of playing WoW), and Tall Guy is busy having me not remember his name.
8:16 Raf tells me that he paid nearly $100 bucks for booze and I figure it would be appropriate for me to pay him back some of the money in order to ease his burden -- because I have a job that allows me to pay for things like beer, meals at restaurants, or hookers -- and even though I have a goatee and continue to wear shorts -- despite the fact that I have kankles -- I do it because I care -- possibly too much -- but I care. Andre, if you haven't figured out that I'm discussing you then bravo! But seriously, get your prostate checked.
8:17 I have my first beer of the evening. Oh sweet nectar, how I would be lost without you. You are the yin to my yang. You ground me in ways that I needed to be grounded. I know I don't tell you this often enough, but... I love you.
8:18 I sit in the corner of the room like a sad puppy that just made 'piddles' on the floor.
9:00 It's nine-o'clock, and all is well.
9:05 Other Kevin arrives with other people whom I may or may not have met.
9:24 Things happen, but nothing really happened; with the exception of Nicole being weirded out by Raf putting "the moves" on a girl (granted they were as subtle as a Catholic priest, but I'm not one to judge).
9:26 I judge Raf.
10:37 Nothing of importance happens (unless Jessie is reading this right now, that's when I had sex with your girlfriend. That's right Jessie, your girlfriend, and she was goooooooooooood! She even did that thing to me that you asked her to do but she said that she never would because its disgusting but its really its because she just doesn't like you enough, you know what I'm talking about you kinky mother-fucker. Of course, that's only if Jessie is reading this -- then I really did do it).
11:06 Kevin Arrives -- I think. I'm not really sure when he arrived, all I know is that this was the first time I remember seeing him and his "bangin'" hair. Good God did he smell like "baby".
11:35 The drinking game commences.
11:47 Nicole begins to get drunk. Kev's roofie must have kicked in.
11:54 Someone goes into the restroom.
11:55 Raf has to explain to me why his barf has Bugles in it, proving that he clearly did not care enough to share them with the rest of us.
11:56 Person walks out of the restroom wondering why people are discussing Bugles when it was obvious that the tasty treats were not on display for consuming their tasty goodness.
12:12:00 Jessie arrives in a bad mood.
12:12:29 Jessie has a drink in his hand.
12:12:45 Jessie is completely drunk.
12:35 Raf got drunk and passed out by midnight.
12:36 I get up from my chair in the corner. I must have looked like Zach Braff in "Garden State" after he takes that pill (which I can only assume was aspirin because drugs are illegal and the Hollywood actor character that Braff portrayed would never be involved in any situation where drugs might be present or consumed).
12:50 Check up on Raf to make sure Raf did not throw up again. To make this easier, cut and paste the previous sentence and apply it in 15 minute intervals for the rest of the evening.
1:08 Kevin is sitting next to Ashley. Kevin acts like Kevin. The world keeps on spinnin'.
1:19 Someone goes into restroom -- doesn't matter who (it was me), just every time someone goes into the restroom something bad seems to happen while they're in there.
1:20 Nicole and Ashley have a fight. And by have a fight I mean one person throws another person across the room and calls them a whore -- you know, a fight.
1:21 Person [me] steps out of restroom and replies, "What did I miss?" in a smooth, baritone silkiness that gives people a sense of euphoria every time they hear it.
1:26 Andre was prevented from spending his normal routine of non-stop hour-long masturbation as several people went into his room while he stood outside, looking like a lost puppy.
1:31 A certain lightweight [Jessie] drunk begins acting like "Drunk Ted" from HIMYM.
1:32 A certain studly, entertaining, witty, charming, trend-setting graduate from the "School of Hard Knocks" (we'll call him the Architecture Guy) has to forcibly drag a certain 'drunk' back to bed.
1:39 Read previous passage.
2:11 Ashley decides to leave.
2:12 Jessie decides to investigate, is dragged back to bed.
2:13 Someone goes into the restroom. Enough with the restroom! By now everyone knows that the restroom is bad news!
2:14 Nicole decides she's had enough of just feeling pissed off and decides to bolt after Ashley. She's already out the door before anyone knew what the hell she was doing. A struggle ensues between Nicole and I. I have her halted -- that's when the hay-makers came in....
2:15 I am now forced to do both the rational and fun thing, tackle my sister. By this time other people are coming out to help and are left wondering why I'm sitting on her.
2:16 Nicole still wants to talk (or whatever it is she wanted to do) to Ashley. Not wanting to make too much of a pest of myself with Nicole, I tell Andre to follow her. Andre can't find his shoes. I run into the complex and throw them at him.
2:17 Person walks out of the restroom wondering what the hell happened.
2:19 Andre remembers that his room is empty now and decides that he can still fit his nightly ritual into his schedule.
2:20 Things have calmed down.
2:30 Jessie throws up.
2:32 Jessie throws up.
2:24 Jessie throws up.
2:25 Decide it was a good idea for me not to get drunk that night.
2:44 Remaining guest leave.
2:50 Attempt to calm Nicole down, as she's still furious at Ashley. I tell her that she is simply angry and will realize that she overreacted when she wakes up in the morning. I then, slowly, climb down from my pedestal and give her a pat on the shoulder.
3:18 Everyone who is not spending the night has gone home. Everyone who's name is on the lease of the apartment has gone into their respective rooms. Everyone who's dating someone from that apartment is cleaning up Jessie's vomit. Might as well turn off the lights.
3:39 I like to think that the last thing that went through his head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.
RUNNING DIARY -- JANUARY 12, 2006.
What a crazy weekend, I knew I shouldn't have gotten drunk with my laser tag buddies. What the hell was I thinking? If you missed it, the following went down:
7:22 We Arrive at Raf's apartment complex.
7:24 I realize that I just went to the wrong apartment complex.
7:58 Don't worry, the Buchanan's were very nice (and also make a great appletini -- here's the recipe).
8:13 We arrive (for reals).
8:14 Raf is looking extra "spiffy" in MY SPORT COAT!!!! I concoct a plausible method of attack that will allow me to kill him, assume his identity, and reacquire what is rightfully mine.
8:15 Raf reminds me that when I want it, I can have it again. I prefer my method.
8:15 Token is busy rockin' out to Guitar Hero 2, Andre is busy rockin' out to the fact that he hasn't masturbated all day, Megan is rockin' out to the fact that Jessie has a valid reason for ignoring her (instead of his normal excuse of playing WoW), and Tall Guy is busy having me not remember his name.
8:16 Raf tells me that he paid nearly $100 bucks for booze and I figure it would be appropriate for me to pay him back some of the money in order to ease his burden -- because I have a job that allows me to pay for things like beer, meals at restaurants, or hookers -- and even though I have a goatee and continue to wear shorts -- despite the fact that I have kankles -- I do it because I care -- possibly too much -- but I care. Andre, if you haven't figured out that I'm discussing you then bravo! But seriously, get your prostate checked.
8:17 I have my first beer of the evening. Oh sweet nectar, how I would be lost without you. You are the yin to my yang. You ground me in ways that I needed to be grounded. I know I don't tell you this often enough, but... I love you.
8:18 I sit in the corner of the room like a sad puppy that just made 'piddles' on the floor.
9:00 It's nine-o'clock, and all is well.
9:05 Other Kevin arrives with other people whom I may or may not have met.
9:24 Things happen, but nothing really happened; with the exception of Nicole being weirded out by Raf putting "the moves" on a girl (granted they were as subtle as a Catholic priest, but I'm not one to judge).
9:26 I judge Raf.
10:37 Nothing of importance happens (unless Jessie is reading this right now, that's when I had sex with your girlfriend. That's right Jessie, your girlfriend, and she was goooooooooooood! She even did that thing to me that you asked her to do but she said that she never would because its disgusting but its really its because she just doesn't like you enough, you know what I'm talking about you kinky mother-fucker. Of course, that's only if Jessie is reading this -- then I really did do it).
11:06 Kevin Arrives -- I think. I'm not really sure when he arrived, all I know is that this was the first time I remember seeing him and his "bangin'" hair. Good God did he smell like "baby".
11:35 The drinking game commences.
11:47 Nicole begins to get drunk. Kev's roofie must have kicked in.
11:54 Someone goes into the restroom.
11:55 Raf has to explain to me why his barf has Bugles in it, proving that he clearly did not care enough to share them with the rest of us.
11:56 Person walks out of the restroom wondering why people are discussing Bugles when it was obvious that the tasty treats were not on display for consuming their tasty goodness.
12:12:00 Jessie arrives in a bad mood.
12:12:29 Jessie has a drink in his hand.
12:12:45 Jessie is completely drunk.
12:35 Raf got drunk and passed out by midnight.
12:36 I get up from my chair in the corner. I must have looked like Zach Braff in "Garden State" after he takes that pill (which I can only assume was aspirin because drugs are illegal and the Hollywood actor character that Braff portrayed would never be involved in any situation where drugs might be present or consumed).
12:50 Check up on Raf to make sure Raf did not throw up again. To make this easier, cut and paste the previous sentence and apply it in 15 minute intervals for the rest of the evening.
1:08 Kevin is sitting next to Ashley. Kevin acts like Kevin. The world keeps on spinnin'.
1:19 Someone goes into restroom -- doesn't matter who (it was me), just every time someone goes into the restroom something bad seems to happen while they're in there.
1:20 Nicole and Ashley have a fight. And by have a fight I mean one person throws another person across the room and calls them a whore -- you know, a fight.
1:21 Person [me] steps out of restroom and replies, "What did I miss?" in a smooth, baritone silkiness that gives people a sense of euphoria every time they hear it.
1:26 Andre was prevented from spending his normal routine of non-stop hour-long masturbation as several people went into his room while he stood outside, looking like a lost puppy.
1:31 A certain lightweight [Jessie] drunk begins acting like "Drunk Ted" from HIMYM.
1:32 A certain studly, entertaining, witty, charming, trend-setting graduate from the "School of Hard Knocks" (we'll call him the Architecture Guy) has to forcibly drag a certain 'drunk' back to bed.
1:39 Read previous passage.
2:11 Ashley decides to leave.
2:12 Jessie decides to investigate, is dragged back to bed.
2:13 Someone goes into the restroom. Enough with the restroom! By now everyone knows that the restroom is bad news!
2:14 Nicole decides she's had enough of just feeling pissed off and decides to bolt after Ashley. She's already out the door before anyone knew what the hell she was doing. A struggle ensues between Nicole and I. I have her halted -- that's when the hay-makers came in....
2:15 I am now forced to do both the rational and fun thing, tackle my sister. By this time other people are coming out to help and are left wondering why I'm sitting on her.
2:16 Nicole still wants to talk (or whatever it is she wanted to do) to Ashley. Not wanting to make too much of a pest of myself with Nicole, I tell Andre to follow her. Andre can't find his shoes. I run into the complex and throw them at him.
2:17 Person walks out of the restroom wondering what the hell happened.
2:19 Andre remembers that his room is empty now and decides that he can still fit his nightly ritual into his schedule.
2:20 Things have calmed down.
2:30 Jessie throws up.
2:32 Jessie throws up.
2:24 Jessie throws up.
2:25 Decide it was a good idea for me not to get drunk that night.
2:44 Remaining guest leave.
2:50 Attempt to calm Nicole down, as she's still furious at Ashley. I tell her that she is simply angry and will realize that she overreacted when she wakes up in the morning. I then, slowly, climb down from my pedestal and give her a pat on the shoulder.
3:18 Everyone who is not spending the night has gone home. Everyone who's name is on the lease of the apartment has gone into their respective rooms. Everyone who's dating someone from that apartment is cleaning up Jessie's vomit. Might as well turn off the lights.
3:39 I like to think that the last thing that went through his head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.
Stuart Hall -- What is This 'Black' in Black Popular Culture?
Within modern countires, there faces a batte of class and culture. Among these battles lies the struggle of cultural hegemony. It is this displacement of postmodernity -- the deep and ambiviliant fascination with difference -- that cultural hegemony is displacing. While the process of hegemony never results in absolutes, in terms of victory or defeat, it is not without sides gaining dominance. The power of relations in culture is always shifting, as if maliable; constantly seeking to define and exert itself within the cultural hierarchy. One example of this process is present within the realm of black popular culture. This, like all cultures, makes the effort to make a distinct effort deconstruct what popular is and instead focus on what the term 'popular' represents.
In the paper, Hall makes the argument that, "The struggle must be, instead, to replace the 'or' with the potentiality or the possibility of an 'and.' That is the logic of coupling rather than the logic of a binary opposition. You can be black and British... The moment the signifier 'black' is torn from its historical, cultural, and political embedding and lodged in a biologically constituted racial category, we valorize, by inversion, the very ground of the racism we are trying to deconstruct" (291).
In this, I believe Hall has posed the framework for what ended up being the ultimate success of the 2008 U.S. presidential election, by which I state that President-elect Barack Obama was not selected because he was black. Obama did not become the first black president but instead became the president -- who happens to be black (and half white by the way). Previous black presidential candidates were mainly noticed as a result of the color of their skin and not necessarily their politics. Where most candidates would run for president, black candidates would run as the 'black candidate,' a token gesture bestowed upon them as if they were fulfilling some form of affirmative action by the mere acknowledgment of them.
Obama's candidacy moved beyond the race factor and instead moved the entire nation into a steam of consciousness that relayed the message loud and clear: race is not the determining factor in this election, politics are. Hall predicted that when the 'black' signifier begins to lessen than the likelihood for deconstructing racism and moving towards the postmodern society becomes much more likely. Yet despite the seeming progression of the country as a whole, it did not begin that way. Early on in Obama's presidential bid, he had trouble acquiring the black vote. In this, he had yet to endure and pass what Hall describes as the 'test of authenticity' among black voters, and ultimately, black popular culture.
On page 290, Hall makes the argument that black popular culture is formed a basis by which insiders develop their own form of diaspora aesthetic, a system that deems whether or not an item meets certain standards -- whether contradictory or not -- to be labeled as pure or impure. Hall further relates the concept of 'Good' black popular culture, which is founded by the basis of passing the test of authenticity. Hall describes this test as, "the reference to black experience and to black expressivity. Theses serve as the guarantees in the determination of which black popular culture is right on, which is ours and which is not."
In relation other forms differences, and how they are equally present in areas other than race, affect people's decisions, Hall states, "since our racial differences do not constitute all of us, we are always different, negotiating different kinds of differences -- of gender, of sexuality, of class. It is also that these antagonisms refuse to be neatly aligned; they are very simply not reducible to one another; they refuse to coalesce around a single axis of differentiation. We are always in negotiation, not with a single set of oppositions that place us always in the same relation to others, but with a series of different positionalities" (292).
In this, Hall deduces that people place value of differences among themselves and others at varying degrees. For some, being black may be a positive or a minus while the same person may regard gender as irrelevant. In this, Hall is stating that there is no way to combat the problem matter-of-factly; it is something that must be dealt with on an individual basis, with no direct method of improving the standing of a group or sect as a whole within the larger realm of society. In other words, it is highly doubtful that a white woman will be viewed on the same level as a black man; the same rules apply when compared to a white man. A recent example of this was seen throughout the presidential campaign as Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama fought for the Democratic Party nomination. In one instance, Obama's patriotism was questioned for not wearing a flag pin -- leading many to wonder if this would have been asked in he were white, and Clinton was
repeatedly asked if her husband would be pulling the strings if she were elected, a question nearly no man would receive.
However, the political questions did not simply pertain to questions regarding race or gender, other areas such as class and emotion were also considered major factors during the primary season. For example, Obama was painted by many as an elitist, too out of touch with the commoner to relate to their problems. Clinton on the other hand was noted for being an ice queen, too emotionless to resonate with some voters. Hall's analysis plays perfectly into these scenarios as he acknowledges something that all politicians must combat: relating to their constituency. Like all cultures, black popular culture has contradactories. And this exception is no different. Obama -- despite more humble beginnings -- was portrayed as an elitist while Clinton -- who reintroduced a rural accent early on in her presidential bid -- was portrayed as the more favored among middle class families.
As Hall states, "America has always had a series of ethnicities, and consequently, the construction of ethnic hierachies has always defined its cultural politics. And, of course, silenced and unacknowledged, the fact of American popular culture itself, which has always contained within in, whether or not, black American popular vernacular traditions." This is the defining statement of what Hall's study represents. Hall realizes the struggles of culture along with the defiant nature of the popular culture supressing the repressed culture. He understands that the black culture has been largly undefinied within the large scale of American popularisim, and that to overlook it any further is to silence a largly dominant structure of Americanism. This was the focal point of the Hall article.
In the paper, Hall makes the argument that, "The struggle must be, instead, to replace the 'or' with the potentiality or the possibility of an 'and.' That is the logic of coupling rather than the logic of a binary opposition. You can be black and British... The moment the signifier 'black' is torn from its historical, cultural, and political embedding and lodged in a biologically constituted racial category, we valorize, by inversion, the very ground of the racism we are trying to deconstruct" (291).
In this, I believe Hall has posed the framework for what ended up being the ultimate success of the 2008 U.S. presidential election, by which I state that President-elect Barack Obama was not selected because he was black. Obama did not become the first black president but instead became the president -- who happens to be black (and half white by the way). Previous black presidential candidates were mainly noticed as a result of the color of their skin and not necessarily their politics. Where most candidates would run for president, black candidates would run as the 'black candidate,' a token gesture bestowed upon them as if they were fulfilling some form of affirmative action by the mere acknowledgment of them.
Obama's candidacy moved beyond the race factor and instead moved the entire nation into a steam of consciousness that relayed the message loud and clear: race is not the determining factor in this election, politics are. Hall predicted that when the 'black' signifier begins to lessen than the likelihood for deconstructing racism and moving towards the postmodern society becomes much more likely. Yet despite the seeming progression of the country as a whole, it did not begin that way. Early on in Obama's presidential bid, he had trouble acquiring the black vote. In this, he had yet to endure and pass what Hall describes as the 'test of authenticity' among black voters, and ultimately, black popular culture.
On page 290, Hall makes the argument that black popular culture is formed a basis by which insiders develop their own form of diaspora aesthetic, a system that deems whether or not an item meets certain standards -- whether contradictory or not -- to be labeled as pure or impure. Hall further relates the concept of 'Good' black popular culture, which is founded by the basis of passing the test of authenticity. Hall describes this test as, "the reference to black experience and to black expressivity. Theses serve as the guarantees in the determination of which black popular culture is right on, which is ours and which is not."
In relation other forms differences, and how they are equally present in areas other than race, affect people's decisions, Hall states, "since our racial differences do not constitute all of us, we are always different, negotiating different kinds of differences -- of gender, of sexuality, of class. It is also that these antagonisms refuse to be neatly aligned; they are very simply not reducible to one another; they refuse to coalesce around a single axis of differentiation. We are always in negotiation, not with a single set of oppositions that place us always in the same relation to others, but with a series of different positionalities" (292).
In this, Hall deduces that people place value of differences among themselves and others at varying degrees. For some, being black may be a positive or a minus while the same person may regard gender as irrelevant. In this, Hall is stating that there is no way to combat the problem matter-of-factly; it is something that must be dealt with on an individual basis, with no direct method of improving the standing of a group or sect as a whole within the larger realm of society. In other words, it is highly doubtful that a white woman will be viewed on the same level as a black man; the same rules apply when compared to a white man. A recent example of this was seen throughout the presidential campaign as Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama fought for the Democratic Party nomination. In one instance, Obama's patriotism was questioned for not wearing a flag pin -- leading many to wonder if this would have been asked in he were white, and Clinton was
repeatedly asked if her husband would be pulling the strings if she were elected, a question nearly no man would receive.
However, the political questions did not simply pertain to questions regarding race or gender, other areas such as class and emotion were also considered major factors during the primary season. For example, Obama was painted by many as an elitist, too out of touch with the commoner to relate to their problems. Clinton on the other hand was noted for being an ice queen, too emotionless to resonate with some voters. Hall's analysis plays perfectly into these scenarios as he acknowledges something that all politicians must combat: relating to their constituency. Like all cultures, black popular culture has contradactories. And this exception is no different. Obama -- despite more humble beginnings -- was portrayed as an elitist while Clinton -- who reintroduced a rural accent early on in her presidential bid -- was portrayed as the more favored among middle class families.
As Hall states, "America has always had a series of ethnicities, and consequently, the construction of ethnic hierachies has always defined its cultural politics. And, of course, silenced and unacknowledged, the fact of American popular culture itself, which has always contained within in, whether or not, black American popular vernacular traditions." This is the defining statement of what Hall's study represents. Hall realizes the struggles of culture along with the defiant nature of the popular culture supressing the repressed culture. He understands that the black culture has been largly undefinied within the large scale of American popularisim, and that to overlook it any further is to silence a largly dominant structure of Americanism. This was the focal point of the Hall article.
THE BET
[SCENE: Raf and Chris alone in a room facing the television camera]
Chris: Hi, I'm Chris.
Raf: And I'm Raf.
chris: And we've always wondered, which one of us would girls most like to go out with?
Raf: That's why we've decided to put the question to the test. We hired a professional mugger to pose this question upon unsuspecting woman and see who wins.
Chris: Let's take a look at the results...
[CUT SCENE: move to outdoor scene with Raf, Chris, and the mugger (wearing a hood over his face) talking near a busy street]
Chris: [to the mugger] So, how you feeling today?
Mugger: Pretty good, now I get to ask the question then rob them, right?
Chris: No, no, no. We talked about this, just be happy with the money we gave you and we'll finish negotions later.
Mugger: It's just that, normally, I get to keep the money and I feel like the amount that you guys are paying me just isn't enough for me to actually go through with th--
Raf: [cutting him off] We'll, what are we waiting for? Let's go out there and find out who's more attractive, myself or Chris.
[mugger walks out of screen]
Chris: [mumbling under his breath] It's gonna be me. Raf: [hearing what Chris said and also mumbling] No your not, shut up!
[CUT SCENE: robber sneaks up upon two unsuspecting women walking down the street]
Mugger: [pulls out gun] Freeze! This is a stick-up!
Girl 1: [terrified] Please, please! Take whatever you want and get out of here!
Girl 2: [also terrified] We're not going to fight over it.
Mugger: It's not your money I want, it is for you to answer a question, which one of these two would you most want to go out with?
[mugger points to Raf and Chris, who reveal themselves from a nearby car that they were hiding behind. Raf and Chris then begin to wave]
Girl 1: [startled] W-w-what?, what do you mean? Girl 2: [confused] Is this some sort of joke?
Mugger: [points gun back into the girls faces and screams] DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING?!?
[girls begin screaming, mugger points to Girl 1]
Mugger: You gotta pick right now. You have ten seconds.
[mugger then begins a ten-second countdown]
Girl 1: I don't know... [begins sobbing] they both look the same... um.. uh...
Mugger: [still doing countdown] 3... 2... 1... Girl 1: [panicked] I can't decide!
Mugger: Time's up.
[mugger shoots Girl 1 dead, then turns to Girl 2]
Mugger: Now you.
Girl 2: [startled] Oh, um... now, would this be a long-term thing or just a fling?
Mugger: [suprised by the question] Oh, um... I'm not really sure.
[mugger turns to Raf and Chris for confirmation]
Chris: Um, I guess it would be more casual, but still serious enough to turn into something more if there's something there.
Raf: Yeah, enough to the point where we can see each other often but not enough to the point where you have to know where I am every second of the day.
Girl 2: That sounds reasonable.
[mugger nods head in agreement, Raf and Chris high-five]
Girl 2: But I don't know anything about you.
[mugger looks back again for an answer]
Chris: Well, I'm into a lot of different things: Sports, politics, tv, movies. I'd like to be a better listener, but sometimes I just can't but think of all the world's problems and about how if we could just work together instead of constantly working against each other, then maybe -- just maybe -- the world would be a better and more peaceful place.
Girl 2: But you just had my friend killed.
Chris: [defensive] Hey, I'm not the one who abstained from voting, now did I?
Girl 2: [to Raf] And you?
Raf: Hi, I'm Raf. I guess I am similiar to Chris, but I'm generally considered the more caring and compassionate of the two.
Girl 2: But you also just had my friend killed.
Raf: [confident] But I felt bad about it.
Mugger: [getting bored] Alright, you've had a chance to hear from them all, now pick one.
Girl 2: [getting a little nervous] Oh, um....
Mugger: [beginning countdown] 10... 9... 8...
Girl 2: Uh.... Mugger: 4... 3... 2... 1...
Girl 2: [terrified and sreaming] Raf!
Raf! I choose Raf! Oh, please God don't kill me!
Raf: [arms raised, shouts] YES!!!
Chris: [dissapointed] Oh, fuck me. Raf: In your face mother-fucker, in your face!
Mugger: [to Girl 2] You can go now.... Boo!
[Girl 2 screams and runs away, meanwhile, Raf is busy doing a little song and dance]
Raf: [singing] Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh. Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh.
Chris: [disgusted] Oh go fuck yourself.
[CUT SCENE: back to the beginning stage, with just Raf and Chris in the studio]
Chris: After doing this experiment all week long, here are the results...
Raf: [opening the envelope] and the results are myself beating Chris with 32 girls saying they'd rather go out with me than the 22 girls who voted for Chris.
Chris: We also had 47 women abstain from voting as they were killed before answering our question.
Raf: Well Chris, I guess that makes me the winner.
Chris: [saying this matter-of-factly] In my defense, the girls who said yes to me were much hotter and this I feel more than makes up for the number of girls who said yes to you. It's quality, not quantity.
Raf: Yes, but you're also forgetting the fact that I secured the gay vote by a wide margin.
Chris: That's true, a LOT of guys did hit on you while filming... which was weird, because I don't recall asking any in the first place.
Raf: So I guess that makes me the winner. Chris: Indeed it does Raf, you are the winner of which one of us is most-likely to be a homosexual. Raf: [defensive] That's not true!!! Chris: Then how come 60 guys gave you their phone number? That many people can't be wrong. Raf: [shrugging it off] Whatever dude, I won the bet.
[Raf proceeds to place a crown upon his head reading 'MORE BONEABLE' on it]
Raf: YOU WILL BOW TO ME!!! [Raf then breaks into a song and dance]
Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh. Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh.
Chris: And you wonder why you secured the gay vote.
[END]
Chris: Hi, I'm Chris.
Raf: And I'm Raf.
chris: And we've always wondered, which one of us would girls most like to go out with?
Raf: That's why we've decided to put the question to the test. We hired a professional mugger to pose this question upon unsuspecting woman and see who wins.
Chris: Let's take a look at the results...
[CUT SCENE: move to outdoor scene with Raf, Chris, and the mugger (wearing a hood over his face) talking near a busy street]
Chris: [to the mugger] So, how you feeling today?
Mugger: Pretty good, now I get to ask the question then rob them, right?
Chris: No, no, no. We talked about this, just be happy with the money we gave you and we'll finish negotions later.
Mugger: It's just that, normally, I get to keep the money and I feel like the amount that you guys are paying me just isn't enough for me to actually go through with th--
Raf: [cutting him off] We'll, what are we waiting for? Let's go out there and find out who's more attractive, myself or Chris.
[mugger walks out of screen]
Chris: [mumbling under his breath] It's gonna be me. Raf: [hearing what Chris said and also mumbling] No your not, shut up!
[CUT SCENE: robber sneaks up upon two unsuspecting women walking down the street]
Mugger: [pulls out gun] Freeze! This is a stick-up!
Girl 1: [terrified] Please, please! Take whatever you want and get out of here!
Girl 2: [also terrified] We're not going to fight over it.
Mugger: It's not your money I want, it is for you to answer a question, which one of these two would you most want to go out with?
[mugger points to Raf and Chris, who reveal themselves from a nearby car that they were hiding behind. Raf and Chris then begin to wave]
Girl 1: [startled] W-w-what?, what do you mean? Girl 2: [confused] Is this some sort of joke?
Mugger: [points gun back into the girls faces and screams] DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING?!?
[girls begin screaming, mugger points to Girl 1]
Mugger: You gotta pick right now. You have ten seconds.
[mugger then begins a ten-second countdown]
Girl 1: I don't know... [begins sobbing] they both look the same... um.. uh...
Mugger: [still doing countdown] 3... 2... 1... Girl 1: [panicked] I can't decide!
Mugger: Time's up.
[mugger shoots Girl 1 dead, then turns to Girl 2]
Mugger: Now you.
Girl 2: [startled] Oh, um... now, would this be a long-term thing or just a fling?
Mugger: [suprised by the question] Oh, um... I'm not really sure.
[mugger turns to Raf and Chris for confirmation]
Chris: Um, I guess it would be more casual, but still serious enough to turn into something more if there's something there.
Raf: Yeah, enough to the point where we can see each other often but not enough to the point where you have to know where I am every second of the day.
Girl 2: That sounds reasonable.
[mugger nods head in agreement, Raf and Chris high-five]
Girl 2: But I don't know anything about you.
[mugger looks back again for an answer]
Chris: Well, I'm into a lot of different things: Sports, politics, tv, movies. I'd like to be a better listener, but sometimes I just can't but think of all the world's problems and about how if we could just work together instead of constantly working against each other, then maybe -- just maybe -- the world would be a better and more peaceful place.
Girl 2: But you just had my friend killed.
Chris: [defensive] Hey, I'm not the one who abstained from voting, now did I?
Girl 2: [to Raf] And you?
Raf: Hi, I'm Raf. I guess I am similiar to Chris, but I'm generally considered the more caring and compassionate of the two.
Girl 2: But you also just had my friend killed.
Raf: [confident] But I felt bad about it.
Mugger: [getting bored] Alright, you've had a chance to hear from them all, now pick one.
Girl 2: [getting a little nervous] Oh, um....
Mugger: [beginning countdown] 10... 9... 8...
Girl 2: Uh.... Mugger: 4... 3... 2... 1...
Girl 2: [terrified and sreaming] Raf!
Raf! I choose Raf! Oh, please God don't kill me!
Raf: [arms raised, shouts] YES!!!
Chris: [dissapointed] Oh, fuck me. Raf: In your face mother-fucker, in your face!
Mugger: [to Girl 2] You can go now.... Boo!
[Girl 2 screams and runs away, meanwhile, Raf is busy doing a little song and dance]
Raf: [singing] Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh. Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh.
Chris: [disgusted] Oh go fuck yourself.
[CUT SCENE: back to the beginning stage, with just Raf and Chris in the studio]
Chris: After doing this experiment all week long, here are the results...
Raf: [opening the envelope] and the results are myself beating Chris with 32 girls saying they'd rather go out with me than the 22 girls who voted for Chris.
Chris: We also had 47 women abstain from voting as they were killed before answering our question.
Raf: Well Chris, I guess that makes me the winner.
Chris: [saying this matter-of-factly] In my defense, the girls who said yes to me were much hotter and this I feel more than makes up for the number of girls who said yes to you. It's quality, not quantity.
Raf: Yes, but you're also forgetting the fact that I secured the gay vote by a wide margin.
Chris: That's true, a LOT of guys did hit on you while filming... which was weird, because I don't recall asking any in the first place.
Raf: So I guess that makes me the winner. Chris: Indeed it does Raf, you are the winner of which one of us is most-likely to be a homosexual. Raf: [defensive] That's not true!!! Chris: Then how come 60 guys gave you their phone number? That many people can't be wrong. Raf: [shrugging it off] Whatever dude, I won the bet.
[Raf proceeds to place a crown upon his head reading 'MORE BONEABLE' on it]
Raf: YOU WILL BOW TO ME!!! [Raf then breaks into a song and dance]
Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh. Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh.
Chris: And you wonder why you secured the gay vote.
[END]
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Be gentle, its my first blog
Okay, I want to make sure I do this right. I don't want to type too fast, but I also don't want to have writer's block. Will people know that I've never blogged before? Oh God!!! Too much pressure.
Ahhhhhhh!!!
Message complete...
Was it as good for you as it was for me?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Ahhhhhhh!!!
Message complete...
Was it as good for you as it was for me?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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