HEAVY RAIN (PS3)

How far are you prepared to go to save someone you love?



Below is a link to quite possibly the most important and innovative PS3 game to come out since it debuted in 2006, titled Heavy Rain. Set in the mold of a suspense thriller (think of the film Seven), this game is far different than most games.

Unlike most mystery/suspense thrillers, it is not a puzzle game -- a game where the player must solve every piece of it before continuing -- rather it is a film noir that plays out like an interactive film, featuring a cause and effect storyline.

The basic concept of the story is that it revolves around a serial killer named the Origami Killer, because he leaves behind an origami figurine on the body of every victim he kills.



Following the killer's footsteps are four people, all playable: an FBI profiler named Norman Jayden, a private detective named Scott Shelby, an architect named Ethan Mars, and journalist named Madison Paige.

Unlike other games where the character plays a scene over and over until he or she is successful, Heavy Rain seeks a different path: once your character dies in the game, they are dead. There is no coming back. The story revolves around four people and the player then moves onto another character for the duration of the story. If all four characters die then the game is over, with a plot line to match such an occurrence. Every single scenario has a direct effect on the outcome of the story.

Also setting this game apart from others is the controls. Nearly every game features a control function in which the left analog stick moves the character; not Heavy Rain. In this game, the right trigger (you read that right, the right trigger) moves the character forward, with the left analog stick controlling the character's head movements. If a player looks left then presses the right trigger the character will turn left as he or she is moving.

Another variation that differs from the norm is the use of quick time controls. Now, I know what your thinking, "Oh God, I hate games with quick time controls. This game is going to suck." Well it's not like that at all, so just shut the f--k up. These quick time controls are both engaging and not too distracting. In fact, one could say that the entire game follows this path.



Let's say that a character wants to open a door or look inside a mailbox, well, a function button will direct the player what actions to perform. Likewise, action or dramatic scenes require the same feat. The only difference between the dramatic scenes and any other are the dangers from failing to perform the task. Most quick time games don't allow the player to screw up or else they'll fail that portion and have to start over, Hard Rain allows the player to screw up a few times -- just make sure not to do it at the wrong time or your character may not make it through the entire scene.

It sounds a bit difficult to understand at first but trust me, it gets easier. On a similar note: action bubbles are also featured in scenes. These drive the conversation and (much like the Sims) the character as several options that dictate the tone and reactions of the receiving listener. Be sympathetic to a grieving father and you may get some more information, too harsh a tone may get you thrown out on your ass; it really depends on how you react during such times.



As in life, the more calm someone is, the easier it is to make a decision. When things are running smoothly the dialogue boxes move around the character slowly. When things are tense then the character's thoughts are a bit scrambled; making it harder to think clearly and select the best course of action. Every piece of dialogue has a reaction from the recipient and changes the outcome of the conversation, so pay attention.



The graphics are simply stunning. Graphics that used to be only available in a cut scene is now part of the actual game play. Using full body and facial motion capturing techniques, the amount of detail is utterly amazing. Smile lines, wrinkles, facial hair, and even freckles are captured in stunning accuracy to the real models that the game based it on. These people don't just look like the people they're supposed to, they are the people.

According to E3, the technology PhysX through nVidia was used to enable animations of pupil dilation, tongue, eyes, fingers, and dynamic hair with physics. The game engine also supports real-time post-processing, using Vicon MX40 cameras and system equipment to record facial motion and muscle renderings.

The game is scheduled to come out in Feb. 2010, so make sure to save some excess Christmas money for its release. Also, if you don't already own one, I'd recommend getting a PS3. The game is that good.

Sales have been fairly slow for the PS3 thusfar and with the recent drop in price it is only a matter of time before the system develops its first iconic hit. This could be the game that forever remains linked to the gaming system; like the Xbox's Halo, Nintendo's Mario Bros., Genesis' Sonic the Hedgehog, Nintendo 64's Goldeneye, etc.

If you'd like a little more information on the game from it's creator David Cage, then check out this clip at the end of the article. Otherwise, enjoy.

Hey, Are You Who I Think You Are?

Yesterday, while working at the pharmacy, a customer walked up to me asking if I could fill his prescriptions. Nothing special, something that happens every day. He was fairly young-looking, seemed familiar, but I fill so many people that I often forget who is a regular and who is not. He said that he also wanted to transfer a prescription while he was there.

Busy looking into whether or not I would be able to do so, I was not really focusing too much on him and more or less concentrating on my work. Finally, I look up at the name on his bottle... my eyes opened up wide.

I was standing in front of star NHL goalie Kari Lehtonen of the Atlanta Thrashers. I look up at his face, how the hell did I not recognize him before? I calmly ask him, "Are y-- you're the goalie for the Thrashers, right?" He said yes. A sly smile crept onto his face, it is not often that he is recognized in Atlanta without his uniform (or with it on for that matter).

Telling him I was a big fan, I mentioned to him that I saw his debut (which he won 2-1 by the way). He thanked me and I went on to fill his prescriptions. When ringing up his sale, he meets me at the register with his girlfriend. Before leaving I mention to him again that I hope he stays healthy this year and that they are not the same team without him (they aren't).

This time it was his girlfriend who took the compliment to heart. Letting out a soft, "Awwww," she pats Kari on the back, happy for his recognition. He thanks me and walks away. After a few moments, making sure he is out of viewing and hearing range, I do a little Tiger Woods fist bump. The two women working in the pharmacy with me have no idea what just transpired.

I ask them, "Do you know who that was?" They replied that they did not know. "That was Kari Lehtonen!" Silence. "You know, Kari Lehtonen... Thrashers goalie... anyone?"

Finally Tina, the pharmacist, joins the conversation and says, "Oh, so that's why his insurance is so good!" I dip my head in disappointment. At least I know what happened, and that is good enough for me.


A photo of the NHL goalie




Quite possibly the most Ebony and Ivory photo of all time




This now means that I've met two of the people in this photograph (note: I have no idea who the to person on the left is)

Meeee-Owwww!!!!

In light of my more depressing post, I figure I'd lighten up the mood a little bit.

Here is a cat boxing a tv while watching boxing on that same tv -- deal with it PETA!!!

VH1 Storytellers -- Bruce Springsteen

In 2005 VH1 filmed a television special featuring an acoustic set by Bruce Springsteen in which he details the inspiration and thoughts behind some of his songs, this is what transpired.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

This guy has to be soooooooo pissed....

The recent cancellation of the now epically-late Duke Nukem Forever has caused one fan to wait again for the release of a game he pre-ordered in 2001. Here's the story as it stands on the website.

Story below, unedited
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Gaming's Oldest Preorder May Go Unfulfilled
by Mike Smith

Buzz up!


Patience might not always be a virtue.
Will this gamer ever be collecting the pre-order he placed in 2001?

Answer: probably not. His $10 deposit was placed on Duke Nukem Forever, a first-person shooter that, after being in continuous development for an unprecedented 12 years, was suddenly canceled yesterday.

Duke Nukem, a once-iconic blond-haired all-American action hero, with a fondness for catchphrases like "It's time to kick *** and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of gum," was the star of a hit string of games in the 1990s. His creators, 3D Realms, used him to help pioneer the first-person shooter genre, paving the way for modern hits like Halo and Call of Duty.

Ten years ago, Duke Nukem Forever was expected to become just as big a hit as those did. But constant delays -- the game's release date was originally intended to be in 1998 -- caused it to become something of a running joke, topping Wired magazine's annual Vaporware Awards list for seven years out of eight.

Almost unbelievably, the 3D Realms team apparently continued constant work on the game, releasing occasional teaser-style screenshots and trailers, until the company abruptly ran out of money and folded yesterday with what we imagine to be the loss of numerous jobs.

As Guardian games writer Steve Boxer told the BBC, "It would have been nice to see another Duke Nukem game, but given they had more than 12 years it's just incompetence of the highest order...Sadly, Duke Nukem Forever was the most aptly named title in the history of games. Now, it's just Duke Nukem Never."

Duke Nukem Forever's publishing rights remain with Take-Two, but it's not yet clear if the publisher will allocate it to a new team. Given that it's already been 12 years, they could be forgiven for wanting to forget the whole sorry saga. We wish "Slash000" the best of luck in getting a refund.

Cool Painting of the KC Monarchs

VW: Think Differently

You'll never watch Toy Story the same way again...

Durex Mega Ultra Thins: They Won't....

Ken Burns... You Better Watch Your Ass!

Well, as it so happens, my semester is finally winding down. I have just completed three finals one day. First, a cultural theory course followed by a journalism course where I had to turn in the project at 2:30 -- the only problem being that I had not done any interviews or done all of my research. I finished it at 2:25, ran to turn it in, and then took another exam on the history of the American city -- a slide show written exam -- fifteen minutes later.

Long story short, I am just about done.

Fun fact: last Sunday I stayed up all night working on the baseball project, making sure everything ended up going well. Around six or seven in the morning, I discovered another piece of information that was undocumented by other baseball books -- thus helping my research paper. Anyway, I stayed up all night working on it. When it finally came time to turn it in on Tuesday, me and about ten of my classmates arrived early with nothing left to do. It is quite common for us to show up early and joke around, but this was different; we had just accomplished something.

To celebrate, we decided to go to Sidebar, a popular bar (voted seventh best after-work bar in Atlanta) about 100 feet away from the Aderhold Building -- where our class is located -- we stayed, had drink or two, and then turned in our paper. After turning in our paper, we were done for the evening. Normally, we would have had a class presentation or rehersal for our final presentations of our papers, but because the professor was absent we were allowed to leave. The second I turned in my paper I turned to my classmates and said, "To the Sidebar!!!" and sure enough, about a third of us (and the cool third at that) decided to join us. Nothing like drinking when you should be in school.

I've been drinking with a couple of them throughout the semester, but I've never been a Pied Piper of alcohol, I liked it.

Oh, and in case why you're wondering what Ken Burns has to do with this, my research paper was on baseball. I covered the rise, operation, and downfall of the National Association of Professional Base Ball Players (NA), covering the years 1869-1876 to include the first professional baseball team. I plan on releasing this in a nine part series, hoping to make the articles fit a specific aspect of the era.

GTA -- the Diner

Did you ever play the Playstation game Grand Theft Auto 2? Perhaps you did, perhaps you didn't. Either way, they had this great retro song featured on three different radio stations, but each one was only a short snippit. Well, someone has decided to put them together to compose what the song should have been. Unfortunatly, it was composed for the game and no full-length track is available. According to Rockstar, the song is titled "The Diner" and is from "Tammy Boness & The Swingin Mammaries", Enjoy.

Lincoln the Comedian

As most people know, Lincoln was quite humorous. In one section of the February 15, 1869 edition of the Milwaukee Daily Sentinel, one can find two examples of his hilarity.

In the first example, located halfway through the article, recalls the story of Gen. Edwin H. Stoughton, who was famously captured by Mosby's Rangers (led by Confederate partisan John S. Mosby). Upon hearing of his capture, Lincoln replied, "I don't mind the Brigadier -- I can make a new one anytime -- but I'd like to get those horses back, they cost $125 apiece."

In the second example, featured on the very bottom of the article, another tale of Lincoln's wit is displayed when -- another military comander -- Gen. Robert C. Schenck -- declined to sign a military petition on the condition that he was "not asking favors of Abe Lincoln." Upon hearing this, Lincoln sent a letter to Schenck stating, "Ain't asking favors of me, eh? Read this." He then proceeded to show an application in which Schenck formally requested the assignment which he subsequently turned down when he stated that he was "not asking for favors."

(click on the link below to see the article for yourselves)

Relax Bro, You Don't Need a Condom, You're a Robot.

Artist Watch: Lisa Hannigan

Lisa Hannigan, who recently made her first appearance on The Colbert Report on Monday (3/09/09), has been a favorite artist to watch since late 2005. For those of you who may be wondering why her name sounds so familiar, it is because she made a now legendary appearance on Damien Rice' 2005 album "O". The most famous hit to come from that record -- and later featured on Shrek 3 was "9 Crimes". Hannigan's presence is felt throughout the album, as "O" is really a duet album instead of a solo album.

Hannigan's voice is perhaps the most hauntingly beautiful voice I have ever heard. Only twice in my life have I ever heard a song so beautiful that I had to stop what I was doing, immediately, and listen to it; "9 Crimes" was one of those songs. If I had to describe it, it would be smoky, sultry, powerfully submissive, emotional, and pure. It is like Norah Jones and Ingrid Michaelson merged voices, and then listened to the Cure. Her voice reminds me of a particular scene in the television show Scrubs in the episode "My Philosophy". It is unyieldingly beautiful, yet heart-breakingly sorrowful at the same time.

Here are some samples of her work with Damien Rice, remember, these are live recordings:







But as of 2007, the two agreed to go their separate ways. While maintaining a cordial working relationship, it was obvious that Hannigan's star was ready to shine and Rice couldn't have her to himself any longer. Recent recordings off her new album, "Sea Sew", is an example of her truer side -- as her music style is more bubbly than the somber ballads of Damien Rice.

Her first album is making its way through the late night rounds but has not yet become a radio fixture. While the radio has yet to make her a star, television may very well pave the way to her success. It has worked for many artists in recent years, Cat Power, Tegan & Sara, Ben Lee, Amos Lee, Brett Dennen, and hundreds of others are largly ignored on the radio but have developed a following among television producers who regularly air their music.

"I Don't Know" is an endearingly loving ballad of a woman in search of love. This personal ad, in song form, is very much like As Fast As' "Special" in lyrical style. The melody is very similiar to Ingrid Michaelson. This is definatly a feel-good track that would be perfect to listen to while driving down the highway on a warm evening. The best description that I could give this song would be a scenario in which a puppy wakes you up by giving you little kisses while delivering the morning paper -- simple happiness.



"Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues" is half nursery rhyme ballad, half suicidal teenager anthem. It is like seeing Seal in concert: plesent to listen to, unpleasent to look at. What I really love about this track is it's pacing. The musical number is constant, reliable; Hannigan makes this song by creating a melody of words, telling the tale in stages without breaking them into segregated verses, as if she were pulling you along for the musical ride.



"Sea Song" has a sensual magnetism comparable to that of a James Bond musical track but one cannot help but think of "Fiddler on the Roof" in the back of their minds. (So, it is like a soundtrack to a Jewish James Bond film -- OH MY GOD!!! I would so watch that!!!) Hannigan is very seductive in this track, causing the listener to follow her deeper into the emotional depth of the song.



"Keep it All" is totally 80s rad. It has synthesizers, a rhythm very reminiscent with Q Lazzarus (yes that Q Lazzarus), and the most awesome roboting ever known to man. This work is much like the B-sides of Feist; catchy, rhythmic, popish, yet unique and clever. If nothing else, the video shows Hannigan as her true self. All of her other work prior to her solo album was depressing, lonely, somber tunes -- this is her declaration of joy, mischief, wonder, sexuality, and apparently dancing. This is the real Lisa Hannigan.



"Pistachio" is another track cut from the Feist cloth. This song starts out calm, like listening to the ocean while sipping margaritas, but then it splits into the second act, as if a storm were looming on the horizon; averting the melody to dive into the uhs, ohs, and ahs form of storytelling -- which reminds me of Bruce Springsteen (the guy can just screech into a microphone for half and hour without saying a tangible word and say more than Marky Mark did his entire career). Hannigan's soulful voice carries this track.

Well Baseball's Back and There's Gonna Be Steroids...

The Audacity...

You have to admit, Gov. Jindal really does a good impersonation. Now do Columbo!!!

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"Mr. Jindal, after this horrible speech, what are you going to do next?"

"I'm going to Disney World!!!"

Seriously, after last night's debacle, I'd probably shy away from the limelight too. Not only was Gov. Jindal outmatched in terms of oratory skill, he was clearly unprepared for the national spotlight. His message was both outdated and spoken as if America was a nation of five-year-olds. To which I can only make the point, REALLY REPUBLICANS?

I cannot help but wonder what the fate of the Republican Party is after this response. After the 2008 election, it is obvious that Americans are looking for a change in politics -- tax cuts and deregulation are not the answer, it is what got us into the mess. This is a time for action; if you are not going to help, than at least come up with an idea to get us out of this mess.

The longer the party continues to fight a civil war, the longer the party fights to do nothing, the longer the party continues to promote clearly unqualified politicians merely because of their race or gender, the longer the party listens to racists idiots like Rush Limbaugh, the longer the party spouts exclusive politics instead of inclusive politics -- the less relevant they become.

In times of great crisis, Americans turn to a party of ideas, a party of "I dream of things as they never were and ask, 'Why not?'" as opposed to a party of "I hope he fails!" This is one of those times.

Also, to be noted, crises are times for great social progress. Despite fighting a civil war, Lincoln developed a transcontinental railroad system, gave a couple of good speeches, implemented the Legal Tender Act of 1862 -- issuing the nation's first paper currency (prior to this, local banks developed their own tender. That's right, there used to be a Union Street National Bank $8 bill, a Wall Street Banking Co. $13 bill, etc.), oh -- and did something about uh... um... Oh yeah, he instituted Thanksgiving as a national holiday.

Despite facing an economic depression and later fighting World War II, President Roosevelt instituted The New Deal, a system that implemented mass production of roads, parks, construction projects, the HFA -- housing projects, social programs, the creation of the atomic bomb, and pushed us out of economic hardship.

Let this serve as a lesson to the Democratic Party now; that it is when times our tough that Americans need a person to say, "Yes," instead of "No." We need a leader to say, "Times are tough, but we shall overcome." I believe that Bush, Buchanan, and Hoover -- the ultimate "no you can't" men -- have had their chance and seen their method fail. I believe that until the Republicans can honestly formulate a plan of action other than tax cuts, tax cuts, and more tax cuts, that our country will feature only one major party -- until those two begin to fragment (which will eventually happen without a challenger to bind them together), the Democratic Party will reach great new heights.

We can only hope.

Two Gerbils, One Andre

From the critically acclaimed writer/director of the movie KONG...

Want to Get Away?

Two Greek prisoners have escaped from prison in a helicopter -- again.

So I'm being told that his is not the first time that the two have escaped from prison in this manner, and they were successful both times? How is that even possible? Seriously?

After being recaptured (one in 2006 and the other in 1008) they were placed in solitary confinement, but were allowed to take a daily walk outside. That is when a helicopter lowered on top of the prison grounds with a ladder rope -- which the inmates climbed. Guards who attempted to stop them were suppressed by AK-47 fire stemming from the helicopter. Fortunately, no guards were injured during the escape.

According to police reports, the pilot of the helicopter was forced at gunpoint by a couple, originally posing as tourists, to fly the plane over the complex. Afterwards, he was found bound and gagged, but alive, after police found the vehicle.

Bored? Try this...

Adultfriender MYSPACE GRAPHICS


Adultfriender MYSPACE GRAPHICS


Adultfriender MYSPACE GRAPHICS

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CLICK ON THE REST OF THE LINKS TO SEE THEM IN ACTION

Fallen

It seems as though the longer we wait, the more we see how problematic the steroid era had upon the historical impact of the game. If we keep at this pace, pretty soon I'll be recognizing Lip Pike and Count Gedney as the true home run champions. But seriously, who is the home run champion? True, it is Barry Bonds -- but who will baseball purists refer to as the supreme four bagger? The only true player that comes to mind is Aaron.

What makes his enduring legacy truly remarkable is that he achieved this record despite playing his first few years in the Negro Leagues, meaning that the scars of segregation and racism were still relevant -- as the civil rights movement occurred during the prime of his career. Every time a person looked into the record books and looked at the all-time home run champion there would be a paragraph explaining what impact Aaron had upon the game -- how he faced racial adversity and continued to push forward, never giving in to hatred. His greatest legacy is that he did it with grace, honesty and humility.

Now all he have to look forward to is a steroid-using player chasing down another steroid-using player's record. Yay! So now we have nearly every major baseball thumper of the '90s and '00s under serious review as a steroid user. Even the feel good story of the decade -- Rich Ankiel -- was caught receiving HGH.

Now baseball is in a crisis, who is next? Part of the reason that baseball fans and officials had been as accepting of Bonds breaking the home run record was because A-Rod was lurking in the background. They felt that if they could just let Bonds break the record and quietly move on then it would be okay, because A-Rod would be the new home run champ -- and he would have done it honestly. That turned out to be a mistake. Now baseball has to find a new champion, one who is honest, and someone the fans can actually look to help restore the most beloved record in sports.

What is really baffling about A-Rod's current predicament is his timeline. How is it possible for me to believe that A-Rod, one of only three players in MLB history to play shortstop at the age of 18 on a daily basis, when he says he only did it from 2001-2003? Why would I believe that he started taking steroids after he signed the biggest free-agent contract in the history of the game? On that note, why would he stop after winning his first MVP Award in 2003? During those seasons A-Rod hit more home runs during that span than any other player -- except for Barry Bonds. At this point, it would be extremely difficult to believe anything he says from this point on. How many home runs were hit on steroids? Had he been doing it his whole career?

To accurately examine the importance of the home run record, one must trace the history of the home run to the game itself. True, Babe Ruth did make the home run popular -- in fact, his home run hitting dominance saved the game itself. Following the Black Sox scandal of 1919, baseball was at an all-time low. People did not believe the games were legitimate, a problem that plagued the game for the first 40 years. This was much like the other gambling controversies, except this was the first time that a team had taken a dive during World Series play. What Ruth did was to exploit the raw power and force that a mighty swing had -- reaching beyond the great abyss and over the fence. What Ruth did was to popularize power.

But that is not what made the home run great. What truly makes the home run great is much more than that -- it traces back to the origins of organized baseball. Attendance only drew 1,000 -6,000 people until professional baseball became a featured item. When the Cincinnati nine (also known by their nickname, the Red Stockings) came into town, the crowds came in droves to watch men go up against their city's local nine. Owners and proprietors realized that by fielding better players, more people were inclined to pay to watch the game. Thus the concept was born: turn the game professional, make the game more popular.

Originally, baseball games were played on open parks and fields. Since there were no specific dimensions, the baseball could travel as far as it was physically possible. It was not until the 20th century that the way baseball was played truly changed. Prior to 20th century, baseball park fences were either extremely far away (near the 600 ft range) or absent altogether. Many baseball games occurred while cricket matches took place in the deep outfield. Fans stood around the playing field, sometimes standing on boxcars in an effort to get a better view of the action. Seeing how limiting the natural system of playing fields were -- in relation to the increased possibility of potential customers -- baseball clubs began building lots with the sole purpose of playing professional baseball.



With the addition of stadium seating, bleachers, food stands, and other features (such as rampant gambling -- which was illegal), the game rose in popularity. The daily attendance to baseball games rose from hundreds, to thousands, to tens of thousands. Baseball began shrinking the size of the outfield to allow baseball -- which had moved from local parks to city lots -- to be played in the city. Because space was limited and fans could be placed around the playing field, the fences moved to nearly modern-sized baseball parks, with the corners being about 350 feet out, and center near the 450 foot range.



This, in fact, created the baseball boom. The attendance rose rapidly, turning baseball from a niche sport into a national craze. Along with with rise came the inclusion of the souvenir, everyone wanted to have a piece of the game. At one time baseball was played with that -- a baseball. During the early 1870s many games were forced to end early as fans refused to return a ball that had been hit into the stands. Despite being a baseball club, many teams had no more than three or four baseballs to play the game. The clubs realized this and began to carry more -- even then, games had to be called. One newspaper from 1877 reported that a game was forced to end after none of the 150 baseballs hit into the stands were returned to the playing field.

And that is where the home run comes in. It is a piece of the game. It is a unique part of the game. No other sport allows people to walk away with the most important part of the game while in use. Even today, the Bonds baseball, the Bartman baseball, and the Red Sox 2004 World Series baseball have all been major fixtures in baseball's history. The baseball is the game -- many of baseball's most important moments have come from dramatic home runs. In this, baseball's legacy is dictated by the home run. And in this, the truth of baseball is revealed. To tarnish the validity of the home run is equivalent to tarnishing baseball, and for anyone to challenge the spirit of baseball, to challenge all that baseball holds dear -- its history -- is totally unforgivable. What Alex Rodriguez did is irreversible and he may be sorry, but there is no way he could ever fully apologize to the history books.

One can only hope it will not be Aaron who was the last true home run champ. Baseball's records are just too important.

Thoughts on... Farphalisious

[NOTE: this article was written back when I was an architect major -- hence the nickname AG (architecture guy), continue]



farphalisious [farr-fa-lish-us]: verb, to be beyond pathetic. Example: Jim has no social life. He is very farphalisious.

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Is this a real word? No. It is something that I came up with today in the cafateria after deciding that I needed to create a word for no particular reason. Why the definition? Simply put, pathetic does not fully describe the nature of what my life has become and I feel that there should be another word to describe it. Why farphalisious? It is a funny-sounding word (and also the word that I came up with on my very first attempt--which suprised me at how good I was at this). The main reason that I feel that I needed to create a word is so I can have the following scenario in which someone uses the term that I created in a normal everyday conversation.

Random Girl: Yeah, the cafateria here is farphalisious.[across the room]

Architecture Guy: YES!!! WHOOOOOO!!!! BOO-YA!!!

Girl: What the hell are you doing?

[Architecture Guy walks up]

AG: You just used the word farphalisious, right?

Girl: So.

AG: That's my word. You just spoke a word that I created.

Girl: Bullshit. Nobody just randomly creates words, that's stupid.

AG: [laughing] Yeah, stupid enough for you to have just used it.

Girl: What the hell is wrong with you, seriously? Were you dropped on your head as a child or did you just take one too many hits off of the bong today? You know, you're not supposed to drink the bong-water.

AG: No, I swear. I was sitting over there, eating my food, and decided that I should create my own word just to see if anybody uses it.

Girl: Why would you do that again?

AG: So that something like this conversation would happen. I even wrote a column about the conversation that would take place; it went very much like the one we are having now, except you ended up beating the shit out of me.

Girl: Wait, you wrote a column where I beat the crap out of you? Fair enough.

[kicks Architecture Guy in balls]

AG: [in obvious pain] Bring it, bitch.

[the Architecture Guy proceedes to get his ass kicked]

Girl: Are you gonna' admit that you were lying now?

AG: Hey dyke, I didn't hear no bell.

[once again the Architecture Guy has his ass handed to him]

Girl: [exausted] That's it. You've had enough......I'm done.

AG: [battered and bloody] Why, afraid you're going to break a nail?

[for the third and hopefully final time, Architecture looked like David Guest to her Liza Minelli]

Girl: You know what? Since you are so happy with that fucking word that I know you pretended to make up, here it is. You are fucking..... um.......... eh..........

AG: Farphalisious

[girl kicks Architecture Guy in stomach]

Girl: [furious] Don't ever correct me cock sucker!!! Yeah, you are fucking farphalisious.

[random girl walks away--Architecture Guy is a bloody mess]

AG: At least somebody used it.

RUNNING DIARY -- JANUARY 12, 2006.

[NOTICE: the following is a transcript resubmitted in its original content, also, I used to be an architecture major when I wrote this. That is why I've been called AG in the posts]


RUNNING DIARY -- JANUARY 12, 2006.

What a crazy weekend, I knew I shouldn't have gotten drunk with my laser tag buddies. What the hell was I thinking? If you missed it, the following went down:

7:22 We Arrive at Raf's apartment complex.

7:24 I realize that I just went to the wrong apartment complex.

7:58 Don't worry, the Buchanan's were very nice (and also make a great appletini -- here's the recipe).

8:13 We arrive (for reals).

8:14 Raf is looking extra "spiffy" in MY SPORT COAT!!!! I concoct a plausible method of attack that will allow me to kill him, assume his identity, and reacquire what is rightfully mine.

8:15 Raf reminds me that when I want it, I can have it again. I prefer my method.

8:15 Token is busy rockin' out to Guitar Hero 2, Andre is busy rockin' out to the fact that he hasn't masturbated all day, Megan is rockin' out to the fact that Jessie has a valid reason for ignoring her (instead of his normal excuse of playing WoW), and Tall Guy is busy having me not remember his name.

8:16 Raf tells me that he paid nearly $100 bucks for booze and I figure it would be appropriate for me to pay him back some of the money in order to ease his burden -- because I have a job that allows me to pay for things like beer, meals at restaurants, or hookers -- and even though I have a goatee and continue to wear shorts -- despite the fact that I have kankles -- I do it because I care -- possibly too much -- but I care. Andre, if you haven't figured out that I'm discussing you then bravo! But seriously, get your prostate checked.

8:17 I have my first beer of the evening. Oh sweet nectar, how I would be lost without you. You are the yin to my yang. You ground me in ways that I needed to be grounded. I know I don't tell you this often enough, but... I love you.

8:18 I sit in the corner of the room like a sad puppy that just made 'piddles' on the floor.

9:00 It's nine-o'clock, and all is well.

9:05 Other Kevin arrives with other people whom I may or may not have met.

9:24 Things happen, but nothing really happened; with the exception of Nicole being weirded out by Raf putting "the moves" on a girl (granted they were as subtle as a Catholic priest, but I'm not one to judge).

9:26 I judge Raf.

10:37 Nothing of importance happens (unless Jessie is reading this right now, that's when I had sex with your girlfriend. That's right Jessie, your girlfriend, and she was goooooooooooood! She even did that thing to me that you asked her to do but she said that she never would because its disgusting but its really its because she just doesn't like you enough, you know what I'm talking about you kinky mother-fucker. Of course, that's only if Jessie is reading this -- then I really did do it).

11:06 Kevin Arrives -- I think. I'm not really sure when he arrived, all I know is that this was the first time I remember seeing him and his "bangin'" hair. Good God did he smell like "baby".

11:35 The drinking game commences.

11:47 Nicole begins to get drunk. Kev's roofie must have kicked in.

11:54 Someone goes into the restroom.

11:55 Raf has to explain to me why his barf has Bugles in it, proving that he clearly did not care enough to share them with the rest of us.

11:56 Person walks out of the restroom wondering why people are discussing Bugles when it was obvious that the tasty treats were not on display for consuming their tasty goodness.

12:12:00 Jessie arrives in a bad mood.

12:12:29 Jessie has a drink in his hand.

12:12:45 Jessie is completely drunk.

12:35 Raf got drunk and passed out by midnight.

12:36 I get up from my chair in the corner. I must have looked like Zach Braff in "Garden State" after he takes that pill (which I can only assume was aspirin because drugs are illegal and the Hollywood actor character that Braff portrayed would never be involved in any situation where drugs might be present or consumed).

12:50 Check up on Raf to make sure Raf did not throw up again. To make this easier, cut and paste the previous sentence and apply it in 15 minute intervals for the rest of the evening.

1:08 Kevin is sitting next to Ashley. Kevin acts like Kevin. The world keeps on spinnin'.

1:19 Someone goes into restroom -- doesn't matter who (it was me), just every time someone goes into the restroom something bad seems to happen while they're in there.

1:20 Nicole and Ashley have a fight. And by have a fight I mean one person throws another person across the room and calls them a whore -- you know, a fight.

1:21 Person [me] steps out of restroom and replies, "What did I miss?" in a smooth, baritone silkiness that gives people a sense of euphoria every time they hear it.


1:26 Andre was prevented from spending his normal routine of non-stop hour-long masturbation as several people went into his room while he stood outside, looking like a lost puppy.

1:31 A certain lightweight [Jessie] drunk begins acting like "Drunk Ted" from HIMYM.

1:32 A certain studly, entertaining, witty, charming, trend-setting graduate from the "School of Hard Knocks" (we'll call him the Architecture Guy) has to forcibly drag a certain 'drunk' back to bed.

1:39 Read previous passage.

2:11 Ashley decides to leave.

2:12 Jessie decides to investigate, is dragged back to bed.

2:13 Someone goes into the restroom. Enough with the restroom! By now everyone knows that the restroom is bad news!

2:14 Nicole decides she's had enough of just feeling pissed off and decides to bolt after Ashley. She's already out the door before anyone knew what the hell she was doing. A struggle ensues between Nicole and I. I have her halted -- that's when the hay-makers came in....

2:15 I am now forced to do both the rational and fun thing, tackle my sister. By this time other people are coming out to help and are left wondering why I'm sitting on her.

2:16 Nicole still wants to talk (or whatever it is she wanted to do) to Ashley. Not wanting to make too much of a pest of myself with Nicole, I tell Andre to follow her. Andre can't find his shoes. I run into the complex and throw them at him.

2:17 Person walks out of the restroom wondering what the hell happened.

2:19 Andre remembers that his room is empty now and decides that he can still fit his nightly ritual into his schedule.

2:20 Things have calmed down.

2:30 Jessie throws up.

2:32 Jessie throws up.

2:24 Jessie throws up.

2:25 Decide it was a good idea for me not to get drunk that night.

2:44 Remaining guest leave.

2:50 Attempt to calm Nicole down, as she's still furious at Ashley. I tell her that she is simply angry and will realize that she overreacted when she wakes up in the morning. I then, slowly, climb down from my pedestal and give her a pat on the shoulder.

3:18 Everyone who is not spending the night has gone home. Everyone who's name is on the lease of the apartment has gone into their respective rooms. Everyone who's dating someone from that apartment is cleaning up Jessie's vomit. Might as well turn off the lights.

3:39 I like to think that the last thing that went through his head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.

Stuart Hall -- What is This 'Black' in Black Popular Culture?

Within modern countires, there faces a batte of class and culture. Among these battles lies the struggle of cultural hegemony. It is this displacement of postmodernity -- the deep and ambiviliant fascination with difference -- that cultural hegemony is displacing. While the process of hegemony never results in absolutes, in terms of victory or defeat, it is not without sides gaining dominance. The power of relations in culture is always shifting, as if maliable; constantly seeking to define and exert itself within the cultural hierarchy. One example of this process is present within the realm of black popular culture. This, like all cultures, makes the effort to make a distinct effort deconstruct what popular is and instead focus on what the term 'popular' represents.

In the paper, Hall makes the argument that, "The struggle must be, instead, to replace the 'or' with the potentiality or the possibility of an 'and.' That is the logic of coupling rather than the logic of a binary opposition. You can be black and British... The moment the signifier 'black' is torn from its historical, cultural, and political embedding and lodged in a biologically constituted racial category, we valorize, by inversion, the very ground of the racism we are trying to deconstruct" (291).

In this, I believe Hall has posed the framework for what ended up being the ultimate success of the 2008 U.S. presidential election, by which I state that President-elect Barack Obama was not selected because he was black. Obama did not become the first black president but instead became the president -- who happens to be black (and half white by the way). Previous black presidential candidates were mainly noticed as a result of the color of their skin and not necessarily their politics. Where most candidates would run for president, black candidates would run as the 'black candidate,' a token gesture bestowed upon them as if they were fulfilling some form of affirmative action by the mere acknowledgment of them.

Obama's candidacy moved beyond the race factor and instead moved the entire nation into a steam of consciousness that relayed the message loud and clear: race is not the determining factor in this election, politics are. Hall predicted that when the 'black' signifier begins to lessen than the likelihood for deconstructing racism and moving towards the postmodern society becomes much more likely. Yet despite the seeming progression of the country as a whole, it did not begin that way. Early on in Obama's presidential bid, he had trouble acquiring the black vote. In this, he had yet to endure and pass what Hall describes as the 'test of authenticity' among black voters, and ultimately, black popular culture.

On page 290, Hall makes the argument that black popular culture is formed a basis by which insiders develop their own form of diaspora aesthetic, a system that deems whether or not an item meets certain standards -- whether contradictory or not -- to be labeled as pure or impure. Hall further relates the concept of 'Good' black popular culture, which is founded by the basis of passing the test of authenticity. Hall describes this test as, "the reference to black experience and to black expressivity. Theses serve as the guarantees in the determination of which black popular culture is right on, which is ours and which is not."

In relation other forms differences, and how they are equally present in areas other than race, affect people's decisions, Hall states, "since our racial differences do not constitute all of us, we are always different, negotiating different kinds of differences -- of gender, of sexuality, of class. It is also that these antagonisms refuse to be neatly aligned; they are very simply not reducible to one another; they refuse to coalesce around a single axis of differentiation. We are always in negotiation, not with a single set of oppositions that place us always in the same relation to others, but with a series of different positionalities" (292).

In this, Hall deduces that people place value of differences among themselves and others at varying degrees. For some, being black may be a positive or a minus while the same person may regard gender as irrelevant. In this, Hall is stating that there is no way to combat the problem matter-of-factly; it is something that must be dealt with on an individual basis, with no direct method of improving the standing of a group or sect as a whole within the larger realm of society. In other words, it is highly doubtful that a white woman will be viewed on the same level as a black man; the same rules apply when compared to a white man. A recent example of this was seen throughout the presidential campaign as Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama fought for the Democratic Party nomination. In one instance, Obama's patriotism was questioned for not wearing a flag pin -- leading many to wonder if this would have been asked in he were white, and Clinton was
repeatedly asked if her husband would be pulling the strings if she were elected, a question nearly no man would receive.

However, the political questions did not simply pertain to questions regarding race or gender, other areas such as class and emotion were also considered major factors during the primary season. For example, Obama was painted by many as an elitist, too out of touch with the commoner to relate to their problems. Clinton on the other hand was noted for being an ice queen, too emotionless to resonate with some voters. Hall's analysis plays perfectly into these scenarios as he acknowledges something that all politicians must combat: relating to their constituency. Like all cultures, black popular culture has contradactories. And this exception is no different. Obama -- despite more humble beginnings -- was portrayed as an elitist while Clinton -- who reintroduced a rural accent early on in her presidential bid -- was portrayed as the more favored among middle class families.

As Hall states, "America has always had a series of ethnicities, and consequently, the construction of ethnic hierachies has always defined its cultural politics. And, of course, silenced and unacknowledged, the fact of American popular culture itself, which has always contained within in, whether or not, black American popular vernacular traditions." This is the defining statement of what Hall's study represents. Hall realizes the struggles of culture along with the defiant nature of the popular culture supressing the repressed culture. He understands that the black culture has been largly undefinied within the large scale of American popularisim, and that to overlook it any further is to silence a largly dominant structure of Americanism. This was the focal point of the Hall article.

THE BET

[SCENE: Raf and Chris alone in a room facing the television camera]

Chris: Hi, I'm Chris.

Raf: And I'm Raf.

chris: And we've always wondered, which one of us would girls most like to go out with?

Raf: That's why we've decided to put the question to the test. We hired a professional mugger to pose this question upon unsuspecting woman and see who wins.

Chris: Let's take a look at the results...


[CUT SCENE: move to outdoor scene with Raf, Chris, and the mugger (wearing a hood over his face) talking near a busy street]

Chris: [to the mugger] So, how you feeling today?

Mugger: Pretty good, now I get to ask the question then rob them, right?

Chris: No, no, no. We talked about this, just be happy with the money we gave you and we'll finish negotions later.

Mugger: It's just that, normally, I get to keep the money and I feel like the amount that you guys are paying me just isn't enough for me to actually go through with th--

Raf: [cutting him off] We'll, what are we waiting for? Let's go out there and find out who's more attractive, myself or Chris.

[mugger walks out of screen]

Chris: [mumbling under his breath] It's gonna be me. Raf: [hearing what Chris said and also mumbling] No your not, shut up!

[CUT SCENE: robber sneaks up upon two unsuspecting women walking down the street]

Mugger: [pulls out gun] Freeze! This is a stick-up!

Girl 1: [terrified] Please, please! Take whatever you want and get out of here!

Girl 2: [also terrified] We're not going to fight over it.

Mugger: It's not your money I want, it is for you to answer a question, which one of these two would you most want to go out with?

[mugger points to Raf and Chris, who reveal themselves from a nearby car that they were hiding behind. Raf and Chris then begin to wave]

Girl 1: [startled] W-w-what?, what do you mean? Girl 2: [confused] Is this some sort of joke?

Mugger: [points gun back into the girls faces and screams] DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING?!?

[girls begin screaming, mugger points to Girl 1]

Mugger: You gotta pick right now. You have ten seconds.

[mugger then begins a ten-second countdown]

Girl 1: I don't know... [begins sobbing] they both look the same... um.. uh...

Mugger: [still doing countdown] 3... 2... 1... Girl 1: [panicked] I can't decide!

Mugger: Time's up.

[mugger shoots Girl 1 dead, then turns to Girl 2]

Mugger: Now you.

Girl 2: [startled] Oh, um... now, would this be a long-term thing or just a fling?

Mugger: [suprised by the question] Oh, um... I'm not really sure.


[mugger turns to Raf and Chris for confirmation]

Chris: Um, I guess it would be more casual, but still serious enough to turn into something more if there's something there.

Raf: Yeah, enough to the point where we can see each other often but not enough to the point where you have to know where I am every second of the day.

Girl 2: That sounds reasonable.

[mugger nods head in agreement, Raf and Chris high-five]

Girl 2: But I don't know anything about you.

[mugger looks back again for an answer]


Chris: Well, I'm into a lot of different things: Sports, politics, tv, movies. I'd like to be a better listener, but sometimes I just can't but think of all the world's problems and about how if we could just work together instead of constantly working against each other, then maybe -- just maybe -- the world would be a better and more peaceful place.

Girl 2: But you just had my friend killed.

Chris: [defensive] Hey, I'm not the one who abstained from voting, now did I?

Girl 2: [to Raf] And you?

Raf: Hi, I'm Raf. I guess I am similiar to Chris, but I'm generally considered the more caring and compassionate of the two.

Girl 2: But you also just had my friend killed.

Raf: [confident] But I felt bad about it.

Mugger: [getting bored] Alright, you've had a chance to hear from them all, now pick one.

Girl 2: [getting a little nervous] Oh, um....

Mugger: [beginning countdown] 10... 9... 8...

Girl 2: Uh.... Mugger: 4... 3... 2... 1...

Girl 2: [terrified and sreaming] Raf!

Raf! I choose Raf! Oh, please God don't kill me!

Raf: [arms raised, shouts] YES!!!

Chris: [dissapointed] Oh, fuck me. Raf: In your face mother-fucker, in your face!

Mugger: [to Girl 2] You can go now.... Boo!

[Girl 2 screams and runs away, meanwhile, Raf is busy doing a little song and dance]

Raf: [singing] Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh. Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh.

Chris: [disgusted] Oh go fuck yourself.

[CUT SCENE: back to the beginning stage, with just Raf and Chris in the studio]

Chris: After doing this experiment all week long, here are the results...

Raf: [opening the envelope] and the results are myself beating Chris with 32 girls saying they'd rather go out with me than the 22 girls who voted for Chris.

Chris: We also had 47 women abstain from voting as they were killed before answering our question.

Raf: Well Chris, I guess that makes me the winner.

Chris: [saying this matter-of-factly] In my defense, the girls who said yes to me were much hotter and this I feel more than makes up for the number of girls who said yes to you. It's quality, not quantity.

Raf: Yes, but you're also forgetting the fact that I secured the gay vote by a wide margin.

Chris: That's true, a LOT of guys did hit on you while filming... which was weird, because I don't recall asking any in the first place.

Raf: So I guess that makes me the winner. Chris: Indeed it does Raf, you are the winner of which one of us is most-likely to be a homosexual. Raf: [defensive] That's not true!!! Chris: Then how come 60 guys gave you their phone number? That many people can't be wrong. Raf: [shrugging it off] Whatever dude, I won the bet.

[Raf proceeds to place a crown upon his head reading 'MORE BONEABLE' on it]

Raf: YOU WILL BOW TO ME!!! [Raf then breaks into a song and dance]

Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh. Say Chris, 'yeah?'How my ass taste? Uh.

Chris: And you wonder why you secured the gay vote.

[END]

ORDER NOW!!!!

And that's the word

Happy Valentine's Day

Be gentle, its my first blog

Okay, I want to make sure I do this right. I don't want to type too fast, but I also don't want to have writer's block. Will people know that I've never blogged before? Oh God!!! Too much pressure.

Ahhhhhhh!!!


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Was it as good for you as it was for me?














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